"My wife dresses to kill.
She also cooks the same way."
"A good wife always forgives
her husband when she's wrong."
"I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury."
"I bought my wife a new car.
She called me said,
"There was water in the carburator."
I asked her, "where's the car?".
She replied, "in the lake."
"Never go to bed mad.
Stay up and fight."
"The secret of a happy
marriage remains a secret."
"When a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her."
"A man said his credit card was stolen,
but he decided not to report it since
the thief was spending much less
than his wife did."
"Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends. You order
what you want, then when you see what
the other fellow has, you wish
you had ordered that."
"Man is complete until he is married.
Then he is finished."