CONTACT COUNTS

As human beings we go through life responding to conflicting needs--the need for human contact and the need for independence. These needs seem to pull us in different directions at almost every stage of life. In mother's presence, a child will explore unknown surroundings without requiring her involvement. But if she should leave the room, exploring ceases and anxiety sets in. The same kind of thing is true of adults in relationships. Each partner needs the love, protection, and security provided by the other, but he or she also needs independence, self-fulfillment, and self-esteem.

i love you....

Our ability to adjust in later life depend a great deal upon the degree to which the need for contact and the need for independence are fulfilled during childhood. Relationship established during a lifetime either between friends or between lovers are influenced by the primary bond between parent and child. The child of a loving, supportive family usually learns to trust others, to share with them, and to enjoy their companionship. Such a child also develops a strong regard for self and approaches life with a strong sense of security.

FRUSTRATION

How can we muster frustration? Study shows that people who easily get frustrated are more likely to react in a prejudiced way than people who are not easily frustrated. Low tolerance for frustration is only one of the personality variables that sometimes accompany prejudice. People with low self esteem are more likely to be prejudiced than people who have high respect for themselves. Individuals who lack self-esteem look for others who can be seen as more unworthy than they themselves are. Guilt feelings about behavior are also projected onto people whose own behavior is what the prejudiced people see as bad about themselves, but cannot admit.